320x50 ülemine bänner

Collapse

Teadaanne

Collapse
No announcement yet.

humorismi

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Kellaaeg
  • Show
Kustuta kõik
new posts

    humorismi

    Päriselt juhtunud lugu Austraaliast
    ---------------------------------------
    Dear Sir,

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put \\\"poor planning\\\" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached
    to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh135lbs.
    Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity
    of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at
    an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the
    pulley.
    Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of
    the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
    up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to
    lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only
    three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
    I hope this answers your inquiry.


    Pärtel Tomberg

    isePankur.ee - Inimeselt inimesele
    http://www.isepankur.ee
    info@isepankur.ee

    #2
    > >Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One
    > >day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in
    > >a hotel, and Lulu was among them.The police took them outside and had all
    > >the prostitutes lined up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu's grandma
    > >came around the corner.Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here,
    > >dear?" Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Lulu told her
    > >grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and
    she
    > >was just lining up for some."Wow, that's awfully nice of them. I think
    > I'll
    > >get some for myself", and she proceeded to the back of the line.A
    > policeman
    > >was going down the line asking for information from all of the
    > prostitutes.
    > >When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed,"Wow, still going
    > >at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied,"Oh, it's easy,
    > dear.
    > >I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry." The
    > >policeman fainted.
    >
    Pärtel Tomberg

    isePankur.ee - Inimeselt inimesele
    http://www.isepankur.ee
    info@isepankur.ee

    Kommentaar


      #3
      Eestieest, ma vaatan, et sa tahad võimalikult lihtsalt (ja haledalt) 500 postitust täis saada...
      Hey, Skeezix. You ain't cool. You're fuckin' chili. And chili ain't never been cool.

      Kommentaar


        #4
        borat.... by the way mul on nigu 500 postitust mingil 3el korral juba täis nii, et seda ma nüüd teha rei taha....... ja kui sa järeldad sellest, et ma panen mingeid koomuskeid siia , et ma tahan poste saada, siis sa eksid

        kui ma seda teha tahaksin teeksin ma selliseid mõttetuid poste nagu sina just
        Pärtel Tomberg

        isePankur.ee - Inimeselt inimesele
        http://www.isepankur.ee
        info@isepankur.ee

        Kommentaar


          #5
          Orginally posted by eestieest

          borat.... by the way mul on nigu 500 postitust mingil 3el korral juba täis nii, et seda ma nüüd teha rei taha.......
          Ee.. postitusi on sul nagu hetkel 489...
          Hey, Skeezix. You ain't cool. You're fuckin' chili. And chili ain't never been cool.

          Kommentaar


            #6
            Orginally posted by borat

            Ee.. postitusi on sul nagu hetkel 489...
            jah, aga seda foorumit on mitu korda uuendatud, mille käigus on ka postid kaduma läinud...

            Kommentaar


              #7
              Orginally posted by Undertaker

              Orginally posted by borat

              Ee.. postitusi on sul nagu hetkel 489...
              jah, aga seda foorumit on mitu korda uuendatud, mille käigus on ka postid kaduma läinud...
              Ja lisaks sellel lõi esteedile midadi veel pähe ja üks kord ta kustutas mingi oma 200 postitutst umbes, enne kui jõudsime talle bänni peale panna
              When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story!

              Kommentaar


                #8
                Huvitav , ma küll ei saa aru miks selle topicutegija peale momendil vihased ollakse.Eriti borat ,kes süüdistas teda selles ,mida ta ise parajasti tegi.Huumor, mis sest et pole ise tehtud ja on copypastetud on täiesti asjalik thread ja eriti teine lugu oli täitsa fun.Seega ma absoluutselt ei saa aru , miks keegi pole siia midagi sarnast postitanud selle pika aja jooksul , kui see asi siin üleval on olnud. Ei seda nad ei tee - nad hakkavad hoopis kritiseerima.

                Kommentaar


                  #9
                  kas siuke sona nagu humorism on olemas?

                  Kommentaar


                    #10
                    kas siuke sona nagu humorism on olemas?


                    Jyrka! Sind saab küll kiita asjalike ja sisutihedate postituste eest. Näe ma saan ka nii varsti kolm postitust kokku.

                    Kommentaar


                      #11
                      jyrkale

                      on küll olemas selline sõna. ja kui ta pole veel leidnud kohta ÕSis siis oleks tagumine aeg. sest humorism on ta ju üks tore väljend

                      Kommentaar


                        #12
                        ning mina leidsin netist sellise muinasjutu.....


                        Benjamin
                        (Keenia muinasjutt)

                        Kord sündis väike antiloobipoiss, kellele pandi nimeks Benjamin.
                        Benjaminil oli palju õdesid-vendi, aga kooli otsustati panna just tema.
                        Isa mainis talle korduvalt, et mida Benjamin ei õpi, seda Frederick ei tea. Frederick oli isa vend, kes käis kunagi nende onni
                        lagunenud katust parandamas.
                        Alati, kui Benjamin kooli läks, mängisid teised lapsed jalgpalli. Terve karjamaa kajas laste kilgetest. Benjamini lemmikuks oli Stefan
                        Effenberg.
                        Kui kool ükskord läbi sai, küsiti õpilaste käest, mida keegi edasi tahab teha.
                        "Yale'i," vastas Benjamin.
                        Järgmisel päeval murdis lõvi ta maha.
                        keegi kukub siin veel kunagi nii kõrgelt, et nälgib tee peal surnuks....

                        Kommentaar


                          #13
                          warning: soome keel!

                          Seotud teemaga Olümpia:

                          Hiihdettiimpä olympialaisissa 4x10km viesti. Suomi hiihti tasaisen hiihdon, mutta takaa eräs joukkue nousi kantaan juuri ennen maalia. Kirikamppailuksi meni. Suomen ankkuri ja vierellä potkivan maan ankkuri tulivat minkä pääsivät loppusuoraa. Aivan lopussa tämä toinen maa irtautui ja tuli maaliin 2 sekuntia ennen suomea. Suomen ankkuri läähätti vähän aikaa ja ajatteli mennä onnittelemaan maan ankkuria hyvästä kiristä. Suomen poika sanoi: "Loistava kiri, tulit todella kovaa". Toisen maan ankkuri sanoi:" Allah abulah halabaab al abalalah".

                          Kommentaar


                            #14
                            peirs tore et inglise kell on juba endale täpitähed sisse saanud ja nii eesti keele sarnane
                            Pärtel Tomberg

                            isePankur.ee - Inimeselt inimesele
                            http://www.isepankur.ee
                            info@isepankur.ee

                            Kommentaar


                              #15
                              HER SIDE OF THE STORY :

                              He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought
                              it might have been my fault because I was a bit late
                              but he didn't say anything much about it. I don't
                              remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could
                              tell there was something wrong. The conversation was
                              quite slow going so I thought we should go somewhere
                              more intimate so we could talk more privately.

                              We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a
                              bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do?
                              What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to
                              cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering
                              him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he
                              was upset with me, and he said no. But I wasn't really
                              sure.

                              So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I
                              said that I love him, and he just put his arm around me!
                              I didn't know what the hell that meant because, you know,
                              he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back
                              to his place and I was wondering if he was going to break
                              up with me! Why didn't he want to talk about this? So I
                              tried to ask him about it, but he just switched on the TV.
                              Why would he rather watch TV than talk to me?

                              Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep, hoping he
                              would get the hint that I was upset and wanted to talk. I
                              was so hurt that he was out there watching TV while I was
                              in here going through emotional turmoil.

                              Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex.
                              I thought that maybe he would open up after we shared an
                              intimate experience like that, but he still seemed really
                              distracted. So afterwards I just wanted to leave because
                              I was so upset, but I just cried myself to sleep. He
                              didn't even notice how upset I was! I don't know, I just
                              don't know what he thinks anymore. I don't know what to
                              feel anymore. I'm on emotional overload. I'm so confused.
                              I don't think he loves me anymore. Why does he have to
                              play mind games with me? I mean, do you! think he's met
                              someone else???

                              HIS SIDE OF THE STORY :

                              Man United lost. Felt knackered. Got laid though.

                              Kommentaar

                              Working...
                              X