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How do you get a cork back into a champagne bottle? I dunno. Ask a Chelsea fan.

Personally, I think it was out of order the way Michael Ballack chased Jade Goody after she never awarded chelsea a penalty in last nights game.

Return flights to Barcelona - £600
Train to London - £50
Tickets for a two-legged semi-final in the Champions League - £120
Getting to see John Terry cry yet again live in person? Priceless.
Some things in life cost money, for everything else there's stoppage time.

A Chelsea fan walks into a Library and asks for a book on Penalties.
The Librarian says fuck off you ain't getting one!

Why do women love Chelsea?
They can stay on top for ninety minutes and still come second!