Lehekülg 2, kokku 162 EsimeneEsimene 1234561252102 ... ViimaneViimane
Näidatakse tulemusi 21 kuni 40, kokku 3231
  1. #21
    perpertum perverticum Kasutaja rohelineKonn avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Sep 2001
    Postitusi
    2 999

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    «Kuule, konn, kas vesi on soe?»
    «Mina istun siin, muide, nagu konn, aga mitte nagu termomeeter!»

  2. #22
    toivo jürgensoni ema Kasutaja terroriBanaan avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Jul 2005
    Postitusi
    478

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    Jack of all trades, Master of nuns

  3. #23
    Adm¡nistraator Kasutaja ek avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Dec 2001
    Postitusi
    4 849

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'


    http://europe.stockroom.com/b713plus.htm

  4. #24
    Eesti koondislane Kasutaja inzu avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Sep 2004
    Postitusi
    1 523

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'


  5. #25
    geenjiaalne miis Kasutaja 2mSööt3mMööda avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Jun 2003
    Postitusi
    5 000

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    Vampiiride pubis.
    Kes tellib toorest maksa, kes klaasikese inimverd, vahel loomaverd. Mõni südagi tellitakse.
    Siis tuleb ka üks pikas kuues vampiir. Istub maha, \"Palun üks kuum vesi!\" Baarman kohmetub, imelik ju, et keegi ei telli midagi sellist. Aga olgu, valab tulikuuma vee tassi. Vampiir võtab kuue taskust (kasutatud) tampooni, kastab kuuma vette ja kiidab \"Täna joome teed!\"
    Joga Bonito!!!

  6. #26
    Reservmängija
    Liitus foorumiga
    Nov 2005
    Postitusi
    93

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    päris hea
    Tuld!

  7. #27

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    The Energizer Bunny, known best for \"going and going and going...\" passed away last evening. Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation.
    Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming...
    "Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." - Mae West

  8. #28
    perpertum perverticum Kasutaja rohelineKonn avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Sep 2001
    Postitusi
    2 999

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    «Kuule, konn, kas vesi on soe?»
    «Mina istun siin, muide, nagu konn, aga mitte nagu termomeeter!»

  9. #29

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    A young woman arrives at the doctor for a physical.
    She takes of her top and the doctor discovers, that she has a big \"A\" all over the chest.
    - That\'s because of my boyfriend. He\'s a big Arsenal fan and he has a t-shirt with a big \"A\" on it. He never takes it off, not even when we are... You know. So, there\'s usually an imprint.

    The next day another young woman arrives at the doctor\'s office. She takes of her top, and the doctor notice that she got a big \"T\" on her chest.
    - That\'s because of my boyfriend. He\'s a big Tottenham fan and he has a t-shirt with a big \"T\" on it. He never takes it off, not even when we are... You know. So, there\'s usually an imprint.

    On the third day, another young woman arrives. She takes of her top and she got a big \"M\" all over her chest, and the doctor that now start to realise what is going says:
    -Ah, I see that you got a boyfriend that cheers for Manchester United.
    -No way! But I got a girlfriend that is a big fan of Watford...
    "Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." - Mae West

  10. #30

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    ahv ja lõvi saavad dsunglis kokku ja ahv ütleb et ta võib ilma muuta
    lõvi ütleb et ei saa

    ahv ronib selle peale puu otsa ja kuses lõvile pähe. ise karjudes nüüd sajab vihma
    siis hakaks ahv peeretma - prrrrrrrrr -, karjudes, et nüüd müristab
    lõpuks hakkas ta sitale, samal ajal karjudes, et nüüd sajab lund

    selle peale ütles lõvi, et mina võin tähed taevasse tuua ja lõi ahvipoissi munadesse

  11. #31
    Eesti koondislane Kasutaja skint avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Oct 2003
    Postitusi
    3 367

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'


  12. #32
    pohlaku koer Kasutaja vincent avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Oct 2005
    Postitusi
    11 509

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    heh, eston on Eddie Murphyt vaadanud

    et mitte niisama mögiseda, siis üks vana, kuid hea kild:

    Kahel parmul tuleb kange isu naise järele, aga mis sa teed - niisama ju selliseid keegi ei taha... nonii, lõbukasse. Klapivad ukse taga kahepeale rahad kokku - rohkem ei saa kui kolm kümpi. Mõtlevad, et mis seal ikka, küsija suu peale ei lööda, koputavad, perenaine teeb lahti. Parmud ütlevad, et näete, tahaks naist saada. Perenaine muidugi vastu, et aga palun, sõltub sellest palju teil pappi on ja valige. \"Vot 30 krooni.\" Perenaine muidugi vihastab, et no selle raha eest võite teineteisele p..se taguda, siit ei saa küll midagi, ja virutab ukse kinni. Läheb mingi pool tundi mööda, jälle koputatakse. Perenaine teeb lahti, samad parmud ukse taga, kolm kümpi näpu vahel: \"Me tahtsime küsida, et kelle kätte me nüüd selle raha peame maksma?\"
    armastan ma headust üle kõige vihkan lolle

  13. #33
    perpertum perverticum Kasutaja rohelineKonn avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Sep 2001
    Postitusi
    2 999

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    Police have today admitted that George Best was not in fact buried in
    Belfast last week and that in retrospect the decision to cremate him in
    Hemel Hempstead on Sunday morning might have been a mistake.
    «Kuule, konn, kas vesi on soe?»
    «Mina istun siin, muide, nagu konn, aga mitte nagu termomeeter!»

  14. #34

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    hea töö. mõtlesin ka isa selle postitamise peale, kuid otsustasin mitte, sest lapsed tõmbavad jälle vahu üles

  15. #35
    Kõige kaunim klubi Kasutaja Martin avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Aug 2001
    Postitusi
    13 888

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    Chucki naljad peavad olema ebaterved....


    Chuck Norris\' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can\'t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK\'s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    To prove it isn\'t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn\'t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

    A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris\' shoe. Chuck replied, \"Don\'t you know who I am? I\'m Chuck Norris!\" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

    A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

    When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

    The quickest way to a man\'s heart is with Chuck Norris\'s fist.

    Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

    Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f**king Indian.

    Chuck Norris\'s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, \"HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!\" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend\'s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, \"Don\'t f**k with Chuck!\" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren\'t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

    Chuck Norris waited patiently in Al Capone’s vault for 63 years just so he could give Geraldo Rivera the surprise beating of his lifetime.

    The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

    Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth\'s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

    There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.

    Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

    Chuck Norris doesn\'t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more \"humane\".

    Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by \"knit\", I mean \"kick\", and by \"sweaters\", I mean \"babies\".

    Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

    It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
    When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story!

  16. #36
    Deep Thought Kasutaja fitti avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Dec 2002
    Postitusi
    7 942

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    Q: Why don\'t blind people skydive?
    A: It scares the shit out of the dog.

    Q: How do you know when you\'re REALLY ugly?
    A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

    Q: Mom\'s have Mother\'s Day, Father\'s have Father\'s Day. What do single guys have?
    A: Palm Sunday

    Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
    A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

    Q: What\'s sicker than driving over a baby?
    A: Skidding

    Q: What\'s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
    A: Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.

    Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
    A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.

    Q: What do you call a Welshman with a sheep under each arm?
    A: A pimp.

    Q: What does a Welshman call a sheep with no legs?
    A: Easy!

    Q: What do 60,000 abused woman have in common?
    A: They don\'t fuckin listen!

    Q: What do you call a Gay Dinosaur
    A: Megasorass

    Q: What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur
    A: Lickalotapus

    Q: What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?
    A: Nice tits!

    Q: What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
    A: Slow down and use a lubricant.

    Q: What\'s the Cuban national anthem?
    A: \"Row, Row, Row Your Boat\"
    We have to disorganise their organisation so we have to be very creative.

  17. #37

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    martin, sul jäid need mainimata

    Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When the director
    said he can’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,”
    and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

    If paper beats rock, and rock beats scissors, what beats all 3 at the same
    time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying
    “BOOYA”.

    On the 7th day, God rested…. Chuck Norris took over.

    Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.

    When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris
    plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie.

    It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: the light
    side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

    Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world’s hardest substance.
    But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face
    so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the scientists turned into
    artificial Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris carries a man bag. If you call it a purse, he pulls a baby out
    of the bag and throws it at you. The baby will blow up upon impact.

    God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for
    super strength roundhouse ability.

    When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was
    10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.

    Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

    A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this
    phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you grimly.

    Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When
    Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the
    face.

    Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful; it can be seen from outer
    space by the naked eye.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

    Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.

    Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with
    water.

    If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies just check the extinct species
    list.

    Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

    Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.

    When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said,
    “don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five
    minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a
    few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When
    his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the
    face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

    We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before
    they could tell him there was a stripper in it

    In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight that his most
    memorable role was when he played the third breast on the hooker in Total
    Recall.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.

    If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who
    would win?
    Chuck Norris

    Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.

    Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poops them out
    transformed into a robot.

    In one episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton
    for one scene and nobody noticed.

    Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the
    1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of
    jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card
    from the game Uno.

    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse
    kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or
    hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

    Chuck Norris invented water.

    Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a
    vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone
    constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then
    burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the
    flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”

    One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his
    left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its
    technical term: Jupiter.

    Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the blue ringed octopus of
    Eastern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes
    of being bitten, a human being experiences the following
    symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the
    feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

    Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s father.

    Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he
    simply changes the actual spelling of it.

    Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when
    Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

    Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and
    roundhouse kick them.

    In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation Chuck Norris can be seen
    powering the USS enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks

    Chuck Norris was once asked to recommend a club to which he replied ‘I am a
    club’ and everyone partied on him… Until he roundhouse kicked them all
    because someone spilt his beer.

  18. #38

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
    HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy
    staring at him, looks down and says, \"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch
    member, 3 pound left test1cle, 3 pound right test1cle, Turner Brown.\"

    The white man faints and falls to the floor.
    The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy
    says, \"What\'s wrong with you?\"

    In a weak voice the little guy says, \"What EXACTLY did you say to me?\"
    The big dude says, \"I saw your curious look and figured I\'d just give
    you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I\'m 7 feet
    tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left test1cle
    weighs 3 pounds, my right test1cle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is
    Turner Brown.\"

    The small guy says, \"Turner Brown!...Thank God for that, I thought you
    said, \"Turn Around\"!

  19. #39

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    2 tampooni päevitavad, yks ytleb teisele: \"Ma olen punasem kui sina!\"
    YR1 Power

  20. #40
    perpertum perverticum Kasutaja rohelineKonn avatar
    Liitus foorumiga
    Sep 2001
    Postitusi
    2 999

    Algupärane Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

    «Kuule, konn, kas vesi on soe?»
    «Mina istun siin, muide, nagu konn, aga mitte nagu termomeeter!»

 
 

Järjehoidjad

Postitamise reeglid

  • Sa ei tohi postitada uusi teemasid
  • Sa ei tohi postitada vastuseid
  • Sa ei tohi postitada manuseid
  • Sa ei tohi muuta oma postitusi
  •  
  • BB kood on Sisse lülitatud
  • Emotikonid on Sisse lülitatud
  • [IMG] kood on Sisse lülitatud
  • [VIDEO] code is Sisse lülitatud
  • HTML-kood on Välja lülitatud