ebaterve huumor

[svennson]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

7 pöialpoissi lähevad paavsti juurde. Häbelik küsib paavstilt, et kas Roomas on kääbusnunnasid, ja paavst vastab selle peale, et ta ei tea. Teised pöialpoisid naeravad vaikselt. Siis küsib Häbelik, et kas Itaalias on kääbusnunnasid, paavst ütleb jälle, et ta ei usu, et on. Teised pöialpoisid jälle kihistavad jälle naerda. Siis küsib Häbelik, et kas maailmas üldse on kääbusnunnasid, paavst vastab et ta ei usu, et on. Siis üks pöialpoistest ütleb, et Häbelik pani ikkagi pingviini.

[svennson]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

Neli nunna lähevad taevasse.
Väraval peab neid Peetrus kinni.

Küsib esimese käest: \"Kas sa oled kunagi oma elus pattu teinud?\" Nunn tunnistab, et katsus sõrmeotsaga kord mehe suguelundit. Peetrus käsib nunnal sõrme imevette pista ja laseb ta seejärel väravast läbi.

Teisele nunnale esitatakse sama küsimus. See tunnistab et jah, võttis ühe korra mehe suguelundi kätte. Peetrus laseb nunnal imevees kätt pesta, laseb ta väravast sisse ja pöördub kolmanda nunna poole.

Kuid enne, kui Peetrus jõuab midagi küsida, lükkab neljas nunn kolmanda eest ja ütleb kategooriliselt: \"Mina oma suud selles vees ei loputa, kus teine oma tagumikku pesnud on!\"

[inzu]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

[eston maravilha]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

eh?

[svennson]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

Mees küsib restoranis kelnerilt, kuidas ta austri karbist kõige paremini kätte saab.
\"Aga te ärge koukige,\" soovitab kelner. \"Tehke sinna väike auk ja imege ta välja.\"
Mees imeb ja imeb, aga ei saa midagi kätte. Vaatab siis august sisse ja näeb - auster on ennast imelikku poosi ajanud ja ütleb:
\"Mida kurat sa vahid, ime edasi!\"

[inzu]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

[rohelineKonn]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

[noname]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

olen seda vist juba ühe korra teemas \"Veits nalja\" kirjutanud, aga panen ühekorra veel

sa teatab pojale: \"Varsti toob kurg sulle väikse õe või venna\" Poeg vastab kurjalt: \"Terve linn on vitte täis aga sa käid kurgi nikkumas?!\"

[rohelineKonn]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

A man phones in to work:
\"I\'m sick today. I\'ve been in bed all morning. I can\'t come to work.\"
\"OK. How sick are you?\"
\"I just raped my four-year-old son!\"

[eston maravilha]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

BWAHAHAHAHHAAA

rõvedalt hea

[svennson]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

Buratiino läheb papa Carlo juurde ja ütleb, et ei saa Malviinaga keppi teha, sest iga kord peale keppi on Malviina jalgevahe pinde täis. Papa Carlo annab Buratiinole liivapaberi ja käsib tilli lihvida. Paari päeva pärast Buratiino jälle platsis ja papa Carlo küsib, et noh, kuidas nüüd Malviinaga lood on.
\"Ah, sitta see Malviina, parem anna mulle veel seda paberit,\" vastab Buratiino.

[svennson]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

Jumal lõi mehe ja pani talle nimeks Aadam.
\"Tahaks öösiti seksida,\" pöördus Aadam jumala poole.
Jumal lõi Eeva.
\"Tahaks ka päeval ka seksida,\" palus Aadam järgmine kord.
Jumal lõi veel ühe naise, kellest sai Aadami armuke.
\"Tahaks seksida nii päeval kui ka öösel,\" läks Aadam ahneks.
Ja jumal lõi Windows NT.

[Pealik]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

Kuna päris paljudele need Chuck Norrise naljad meeldisid siis lisaks ka mõned:
(Tõenäoliselt mõned korduvad)

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.


Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.


When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.


There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a \"Who has more testicles?\" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.


Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck\'s gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.


Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.


When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.


Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.


There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.


Chuck Norris can\'t finish a \"color by numbers\" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.


A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.


When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn\'t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris\'s urine was the main ingredient for balco\'s designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.


Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)


Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.


When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won\'t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.


How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.


Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can\'t get up the courage to tell him.


In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald\'s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be \"Norrisized\".


Chuck Norris CAN believe it\'s not butter.


If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.


The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.


Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It\'s called Chuck-Will-Kill.


When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.


While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.


Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.


When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.


Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this \"a slow Tuesday.\"


Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.


For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one


When you\'re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.


Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.


When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.


When God said, \"let there be light\", Chuck Norris said, \"say \'please\'.\"


One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.


Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK\'s head exploded out of sheer amazement.


Chuck Norris doesn\'t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


When Chuck Norris plays Red Rover, he walks over to the other line, roundhouse-kicks the first person, watches them all fall over in a domino, and screams out \"Norris is over\"


Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.


Crop circles are Chuck Norris\' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.


Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.


If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, \"Two seconds \'til.\" After you ask, \"Two seconds \'til what?\" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.


Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.


Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn\'t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.


There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.


Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.


Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


Chuck Norris doesn\'t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.


When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.


The quickest way to a man\'s heart is with Chuck Norris\' fist.


A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.


Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.


Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.


Chuck Norris originally appeared in the \"Street Fighter II\" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this \"glitch,\" Norris replied, \"That\'s no glitch.\"


The opening scene of the movie \"Saving Private Ryan\" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.


Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, \"Bang!\"


Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth\'s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.


Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.


Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren\'t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.


Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.


Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.


Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.


Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.


If you say Chuck Norris\' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.


Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.


The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.


In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Siit saab tellida Chucki stuffi

[Jasper]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

seda eelnevat teksti lugedes peab walkeri muusika repeati peal olema...tänud pealikule

[vello99]

Vastus teemale \'ebaterve huumor\'

Chucki ametlik vastus