Veits nalja

[urmar]

Teema on veits nalja, mitte nii suurt portsu.

[ek]

Kavandatakse väljasõitu jahile ja kõik jahimehed on kohal.
Korraldaja räägib: "Homme kell 8.00 on väljasõit bussiga ja igaüks võtab kaasa püssi, koerad ja pudeli viina."
Kohe kostub jahimeeste seast hõige, et miks mitte kaks pudelit viina?
Korraldaja seletama, et üks aasta oli kaks pudelit viina igal mehel
kaasas ja siis juhtus, et üks jahimees lasi koera kogemata maha. Tehakse
ettepanek koerad maha jätta. Kõik on loomulikult nõus.
"Et siis homme on väljasõit bussiga kell 8.00 ja igaüks võtab kaasa püssi
ja kaks pudelit viina."
Jälle kostub rahva seast hõige, et miks mitte siis juba kolm pudelit viina?
Korraldaja seletab jälle ühe aasta juhtumuse, kuidas oli kolm pudelit
viina kaasas ja üks jahimees lasi kogemata teise jahimehe maha.
Tehakse ettepanek püssid koju jätta ja loomulikult jälle kõik nõus.
Korraldaja: "Siis - homme kell kaheksa on väljasõit bussiga ja iga mats võtab kaasa kolm pudelit viina."
Tehakse järgmine ettepanek,et siis võiks üldse juba neli pudelit viina kaasa võtta.
Korraldaja üritab meestele selgeks teha, et ka seda on juhtunud, et neli
pudelit on võetud ja siis murdis üks mees bussist väljudes ning kusele minnes oma jalaluu ära.
Lõplik otsus: Homme kell 8.00 väljub buss, iga mees võtab kaasa neli
pudelit viina ja keegi bussist välja ei lähe.

[EgoTrip]

laeva kokk jookseb mööda laeva ringi ja karjub "pedeeed, pedeeed"
kapten küsib, et mis on
"kõik siin laevas on pedeeed", karjub kokk
"miks sa nii arvad", küsib kapten
"pootsmani munnil oli sitamaitse" vastas kokk

[Hellik]

vene opositsiooni pressikale sõitis sisse lendav peenis


xaxaxa

[Mõnuagent 007]

vene opositsiooni pressikale sõitis sisse lendav peenis


xaxaxa

Je Eesti meediasse jõudis see teema tänu ühes tundmata foorumi Ebaterve huumori teemast

[Martin]

Je Eesti meediasse jõudis see teema tänu ühes tundmata foorumi Ebaterve huumori teemast

Tegelikult mitte. Magasin maha, kuid sain mujalt.

[Mõnuagent 007]

Tegelikult mitte. Magasin maha, kuid sain mujalt.

Mina saatsin kohe onlaini selle loo, aga need ei suutnud muidugi õigel ajal ära teha

[Martin]

Mina saatsin kohe onlaini selle loo, aga need ei suutnud muidugi õigel ajal ära teha

Teil on online või? Mis ajast? Ma arvasin, et pärast sinu lahkumist pandi pood üldse kinni.

[urmar]

Teil on online või? Mis ajast? Ma arvasin, et pärast sinu lahkumist pandi pood üldse kinni.

Äkki võtavad nad õhtul onlaini tulnud uudised kokku ja teevad ära.

[futbolidipaul]

A man is walking on the beach and suddenly he hears screaming. He looks around and sees a girl with no arms and no legs. He asks: "Girl, why are you crying?" "Well, I have no arms and no legs and I've never been hugged." Man pickes her up and gives her a hug; puts her back on the sand and walks away.
But suddenly he hears screaming again. He walks back and the same girl is crying. So he asks: "Girl, why are you crying?" "Well, I have no arms and no legs and I've never been kissed." Man picks her up and kisses her on the forehead; puts her back on the sand and walks away.
But suddenly he hears screaming again. Ha walks back and asks: "Girl, why are you crying again?" "Well I have no arms, no legs and I've never been fucked." Man picks her up, throws her into water and says: "Well, you're fucked now."

[futbolidipaul]

A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps Ill be able to see him in person."
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he ll ask me for assistance."
Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends with the letters 'u-n-t?'"
Only one word leapt to mind...
"My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word."
The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt'."
"Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"

[futbolidipaul]

The Football Association was considering a scheme for simplifying club badges and emblems so that they more closely reflected the clubs' names. A committee was set up to receive suggestions and, after a few weeks, the chairman called a meeting.

'Gentlemen,' he said, 'our request for new club badge designs has produced a very satisfactory response.

Most of the suggestions are perfectly straightforward and logical - an ox for Oxford United, a sun for Sunderland, a heart for Heart of Midlothian, a windmill and a brick wall for Millwall.

However, I'm afraid we must definitely draw the line at the proposed design received from Arsenal!'

***

Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool...

***

A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"
"Because he beats me" said the little boy.
"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.
Because she beats me aswell.
"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"
The little boy replied" I would like to live with arsenal FC, because they don't beat anyone!!"

[Shermann]

Sajandi nali

[futbolidipaul]

http://jaankundla.blogspot.com/

Jaan Kundla blogi. Tegelt ei kirjuta seda küll Kundla ise, aga selline pehme huumor käib kogu aeg läbi. Muiata saab

[Even]

mis on 300 jalaga ja ilma kubemekarvadeta?

esimene rida bedwettersi kontsertilt

hahaha