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Tegelikult vist polegi nii väga naljakas...
An Obituary printed in the London Times
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,
who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for not doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his four stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
I remember....so I'm passing it on.
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Noor poolakas võib sattuda trellide taha, kuna võttis tee äärest kaasa surud põdra. 25. aastane noormees märkas hommikul linna tööle sõites teeäärsel lebavat kellegi poolt allaaetud põtra. Pole täpselt teada, mis põhjustel ta elukat kaasa võtta otsustas, ju leidis, et looma võib veel millekski vaja minna. Igatahes sikutas ta keha oma Fiat 126
tagaistmele, mis iseenesest on auto suurust arvestades saavutus omaette.
Jätnud põdra autosse, suundus mees ise tööle. Vahepeal aga selgus, et loom polnudki päris surnud vaid hoopis minestanud. Oid pähe tagasi tulnud hakkas loom endale agaralt teed vabadusse rajama lõhkudes väikese auto põhjalikult.
Põdra püüded looduse rüppe naasta äratasid pealnägijate huvi ning kohale kutsuti politsei, kes kiirelt tuvastas auto omaniku. Viimasele esitati süüdistus loomaga ebaõiges ümberkäimises ning metslooma ebaseaduslikus pidamises. Kokku ähvardab teda kuni viieaastane vabadusekaotus. Põdrale anti abi ning ta viidi lähimasse metsa tagasi.
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Algselt postitas Maekas Vaata postitustDo you like fishsticks?Little things worry little minds.
Carlo Ancelotti, 2009
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Algselt postitas Bob_Loblaw Vaata postitustYes I do, I like putting them in my mouth."You didn't realize that they had guns? Big, long, dangerous machine guns. With war criminals attached to the trigger."
RocknRolla (2008)
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Algselt postitas Maekas Vaata postitustWhat are you, a gay fish?
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Algselt postitas cocoon Vaata postitust...heh, maru episood oli, eriti Cartmani ego flashbackidÕhtul oli lahe juhtum, üks prantslane tuli hostelisse riidekapi suuruse kohvriga ja sai toa 3ndale korrusele no ja otsustas sinna siis liftiga sõita. Ronis oma kodinatega lifti… ja…. ja astus siis kirudes välja – see oli telefoniputka!!! Meil pole ju majas lifti!
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