Veits nalja

[Montag]

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

[EgoTrip]

Politsei pidas Chuck Norrise kinni. Politsei pääses hoiatusega.

[z3ro]

[Peeter I]

Politsei pidas Chuck Norrise kinni. Politsei pääses hoiatusega.

Oi kuidas need Chuck Norrise naljad mulle meeldivad.

[elevant]

Why men don't write advice columns

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 41, my husband is 44, and the neighbour's daughter is 22.

We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

******************************

Dear She ila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Walter

[futbolidipaul]

A group of kids were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
'You need to use Big People words,' she was always reminding them.
She asked John what he had done over the weekend?
'I went to visit my Nana.'
No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People words!'
She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
'I took a ride on a choo-choo.'
She said. 'No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.
You must remember to use Big People words'.
She then asked little Johnny what he had done?
'I read a book,' he replied.
'That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said. 'What book did you read?'
Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, 'Winnie the Shit.'

[aanvaller]

"Üks kontserdi korraldustiimi väidetav liige pajatas portaalile Elu24: "Madonna polnud nõus proua Ilvesega kohtuma ja kontserdi korraldaja Peeter Rebane andis dressi lava taga Madonna mänedžeri kätte, kes vaatas selle üle, krimpsutas nina ning viskas pärast Rebase lahkumist prügikasti." Ka üks eestlasest lavatööline kinnitanud, et nägi kõnealust dressi järgmisel päeval ühe serblasest lavatöölise seljas."

[Tofoa]

[Saarlane]

Haha see viimane oli hea

[xrip55]

Viimane ikka hea (Y)

[Mõnuagent 007]

Failblog on kõigile tuntud koht, aga viimane üllitis on ka selle kohta väga kõva: http://failblog.org/2009/08/22/facebooking-win/

[Kasepats-Pidur]

Failblog on kõigile tuntud koht, aga viimane üllitis on ka selle kohta väga kõva: http://failblog.org/2009/08/22/facebooking-win/

Natuke taustainfot selle kohta.

http://thenextweb.com/2009/08/22/4chan-launches-attack-christian-evangelists-facebook/

[elx]

päeva nali

http://www.postimees.ee/?id=157043

[xrip55]

* Iga loll teab, et üks kord üks on üks kuid saarlane ei tea, sest ta pole loll.
* Saarlane rahanumbrit ei tunne. Saarlane ei tunne üldse numbreid.
* Ühel päeval oli saarlasel süda paha. Muidu on saarlasel hea süda.
* Saarlane unenägusid ei näe, sest ta magab silmad kinni.
* Saarlane ei lähe külla tühjade kätega. Saarlasel on alati kohver kaasas.
* Saarlane võib oma välimust muuta. Ta on sageli end rihmaks joonud.
* Saarlane ostis pommidega kella ja tegi pommid kahjutuks.
* Saarlane ei lase ennast pehmeks rääkida vaid lakub end ise pehmeks.
* Saarlane joob vahel nii, et maa on sinine, talle meeldib merel juua.
* Tubli saarlane läheb vahel vihast siniseks kuid enamasti on ta lilla.
* Saarlasel on sinised silmad. Ta sai hiidlaselt peksa.
* Saarlasele meeldivad tõsised inimesed ta käib sageli matustel.
* Saarlane pole ühegi naise kätt palunud. Saarlasel on endal ju kaks kätt.
* Saarlane teab, et pisike pits võib ikka olla ja ta õmbles pükstele pitsi.
* Saarlasele ei meeldi kartulit võtta. Talle meeldib peeti panna.
* Saarlane ei saanud puhkpilliorkestrisse minna, sest hiidlane andis pasunasse.

[Saarlane]

Ma tänan väga.